My dear daughters, come closer and let Auntie talk to you. I have walked this road called Life—sometimes in high heels, sometimes barefoot—and I’ve seen what works and what will leave you crying into your pillow at night. This world can be sweet like ripe mango and bitter like burnt porridge. The difference is in the choices you make.
These commandments are not to cage you, but to crown you. They are gentle whispers mixed with firm warnings, designed to keep you glowing, growing, and grounded. Read them with an open heart, laugh where you must, and remember: Auntie only wants to see you live well, love wisely, and never lose yourself in the name of “being chosen.”
Now, sit up straight, fix your crown, and let’s talk woman to woman.
1. Don’t Run from Your Parents’ House Like It’s on Fire
Ah, my daughter, slow down. This life outside is not all
Instagram brunches and sunsets. Out here,
rent is like a jealous relative—it never forgets you, and it visits every month. Stay home until you can move with dignity, not desperation. Use that time to save money, learn how to budget, and plan your escape. There’s no medal for moving out broke and coming back with luggage. Leave when you can afford not just rent, but life—
electricity,
transport,
groceries,
emergencies. Freedom is sweet, but only when you can pay for it without calling home every Friday.
2. Your Life Is Not Waiting for One Fine Boy
My dear, some of you act like your heart is a bus stop—just waiting for a man to arrive before you start living. No. This life is yours now. Go out, start your career, travel, laugh with your friends, eat that slice of cake without guilt. A man should find you already dancing in your own rhythm, not sitting on the sidelines waiting for a partner. If you delay your joy for him, you’ll resent him later. Build your own life so that when love comes, it’s an addition, not a lifeline. Happiness is not a gift he can buy you.
3. Alcohol Is a Sweet Thief
Eish, my daughter, let me tell you—
alcohol smiles at you like a charming stranger, but before you know it, it’s taken your phone, your dignity, and sometimes your future. A glass here and there might seem harmless, but too much can lead to broken friendships, bad decisions, and a body that refuses to cooperate later in life. Control it before it controls you. There’s no shame in saying “No, thank you” when others are pouring. Remember, water never embarrassed anyone. Keep your sparkle natural. Your beauty, your mind, your sharpness—they all stay brighter when you’re not drowning them in a bottle.
4. 2 a.m. Calls Are Not Love Letters
Listen to me—nothing good comes from a man who only remembers your name in the middle of the night. That’s not romance, it’s convenience. If a man truly cares, he’ll call at 2 p.m., in the light of day, when his mind is sober and his respect is intact. Those midnight calls often mean you’re not his priority, just his distraction. Don’t let loneliness make you answer. Protect your peace and your sleep. The man meant for you will call early, plan dates, and respect your time. You’re not an emergency snack, my dear—you’re a full-course meal. Act accordingly.
5. Eat Like a Woman Who Loves Herself
My daughter, your plate tells a story about how much you value yourself. Breakfast is not optional—your body needs that energy to face the day like a lioness. Swap that bottle of Fanta for fresh fruit, and don’t let chips become a food group. Eating well is not about being skinny, it’s about being strong, sharp, and radiant. Skin care starts in the kitchen. When you feed yourself with love, your body will thank you with glowing skin, a healthy mind, and energy that makes you unstoppable. Even queens eat their vegetables. Don’t treat your body like it’s disposable.
6. Dress Like the Future You Already Have
Auntie Kamule will not lie—people see you before they hear you. Your outfit speaks volumes, so let it tell the story you want. Whether it’s
Ankara on Sunday or a
crisp blazer on Monday, wear clothes that show respect for yourself. You never know who you’ll meet—your future business partner, a client, or even the in-laws. Dressing well doesn’t mean expensive; it means clean, neat, and intentional. The world will treat you the way you present yourself. If you look like you respect yourself, they will too. And my dear, always iron—wrinkles are for old age, not your shirt.
7. Love Without Respect Is Like Rice Without Stew
You can have love, but if respect is missing, it’s dry, tasteless, and hard to swallow. Some women think sex will make him stay—it won’t. If he doesn’t respect you before, he won’t after. Love is proven in consistency, kindness, and how he treats you when you disagree. Don’t settle for someone who only calls when he’s in the mood. You deserve someone who listens, protects, and values you even when he’s angry. My dear, good love should feel like a warm home, not a battlefield. If it’s costing you your peace, it’s too expensive. Walk away with your crown intact.
8. Don’t Marry an ATM
Marriage is not a business deal, my daughter. If you marry only for money, you’ll be treated like something money bought. Yes, money is important—it pays for food, rent, and that nice bag you’ve been eyeing—but it cannot buy kindness, affection, or peace of mind. If you choose a man solely for his wallet, you may find yourself rich in clothes but poor in happiness. Choose someone who respects you, makes you laugh, and treats you as an equal. When love and respect meet with financial stability, that’s when marriage feels like a blessing instead of a prison.
9. Be Your Own Emergency Contact
My dear, never put your entire survival in another person’s hands. Learn a skill, save money, build something that is yours. That way, if life turns upside down, you can stand without begging anyone to hold you. Dependence can turn into control very quickly. A man should be a partner, not a savior. When you can pay your own bills, you choose relationships from love, not necessity. There is power in knowing you can walk away if you need to. Be the kind of woman who, when trouble comes, can look in the mirror and say, “We’ve got this.”
10. Fine Face Is Borrowed, Sense Is Permanent
Beauty is lovely, my daughter, but it is like morning dew—it shines, then fades with the sun. If all you offer is your face, someone younger will take your place. Build yourself inside: read, learn, develop skills, and grow your character. Men may be drawn by beauty, but they stay for depth, wisdom, and kindness. Intelligence and confidence are the kind of beauty that never wrinkles. Let your looks open the door, but let your mind and soul keep you in the room. Remember, a well-decorated house means nothing if it’s empty inside. Be beautiful in every way that counts.
